Sam Venable  

Department of Irony

Unless you had youngsters back then, a certain event in October 2004, and again in October 2010, likely passed your family unnoticed. But for parents of wee ones during the aforementioned dates, it was a time for worry and strife—as only modern Americans can do.

Those were—gasp!—the most recent years when Halloween happened to fall on a Sunday.

To hear folks talk about it, you would have thought the world was coming to an end. Why? Because parents didn’t know what night their kiddies should go trick-or-treating: Saturday night, the 30th, or Sunday night, the 31st.

I am not making this up. Both times, the metro desk at our newspaper was bombarded with dozens of telephone calls from anxious mamas, daddies, grannies, grandpas, aunts and uncles wanting to know when kids should hit the streets for their annual sugary treat shakedown.

To reiterate for the disbelieving: I am not making this up.

My response to the ones I talked to was, “Huh? Even in these idiotic times, how hard can this be to figure out? Children are supposed to go trick-or-treating on the night of October 31! Just like they have forever!”

“But October 31 falls on Sunday this year,” the parents, et al, would continue to protest. “Doesn’t that mean they should celebrate on Saturday night? Isn’t there a law about this?”

It wasn’t just here in Knoxville or elsewhere in the South, either. All across the nation, the question arose. Several cities—Quincy, Washington, among them—officially moved Halloween to Saturday to accommodate the date. Once again: Not making this up.

My initial reaction was to scream something aloud into the phone: “Get a life, people! There aren’t any rules, official or otherwise, about something as mundane as Halloween! Panic about something that truly matters! Sheesh! Sunday Halloweens were no big deal when I was growing up! We never worried about them! Why should they be a problem now?”

And you know what? I was wrong.

I made this startling discovery while looking back over October calendars from my childhood. That’s when I discovered the truth: Sunday trick-or-treating never occurred in my day. Not once. Ever. I’m serious.

If you don’t believe me, grab a perpetual calendar and see for yourself. That’s what I did, and it took me several days to polish off the last crumbs of humble pie. Consider:

I was born in 1947. During my childhood, the only years October 31 fell on a Sunday were 1948 and 1954. Clearly, 1948 was out of the question for candy grubbing, as I was still wearing diapers. I have no recollection of Halloween ’54, but at age seven I’m sure I was judged too young to be turned loose for house-to-house maneuvers.

One other thing to keep in mind: Halloween back then was a virtual afterthought on the holiday calendar. It was nothing like the fancy, orchestrated, mega-billion-dollar, glitzy-costumed festival Americans celebrate today.

In fact, because of the way Leap Years figured into the plan, it wasn’t until October 31, 1965, that a Sunday Halloween rolled around again. I was a student at the University of Tennessee by that time, and can assure you the only treats and costumes I was interested in were (1) female and (2) skimpy.

So what, ultimately, was my recommendation about when to unleash trick-or-treating rug rats in the neighborhood?

I told readers to let ’em go whenever they dang-well pleased—Saturday night or Sunday night or both. It didn’t matter either way. Just as long, of course, as they split their take with Mom and Dad.

If any of this makes you scratch your head and say, “Hmmm, what about next time?” worry not. Thanks once again to the vagaries of Leap Years, a Sunday Halloween won’t occur again until October 2021.

By then, you’ll be in (1) the boneyard or (2) “the home” and will have many other matters of worry and strife on your plate.

So happy trick-or-treating! And save a Tootsie Roll Pop for me. I like grape the best.

Sam Venable is an author, standup comedian, humor columnist for the Knoxville News Sentinel, and a member of the Tennessee Journalism Hall of Fame. His latest book is “WARNING! This Product Contains Nuttiness!” He may be reached at sam.venable@outlook.com.